Catastrophe
by dazzleglo
Summary: Doesn't every child want to have a pet? Of course they do, why would Nessie be any different, but with her parents there's no way. However, it's a good thing she has a great Uncle that sees it's a good idea.


**Catastrophe**

This was my donation to the Ovarian Cancer Compilation.

**Summary: **Doesn't every child want to have a pet? Of course they do, why would Nessie be any different, but with her parents there's no way. However, it's a good thing she has a great Uncle that sees it's a good idea.

**Warning: **Not responsible for you spitting fluids on your computer that might occur from laughing.

**Banner Designer: **Isabellacullenlover23

**Pre-reader: **Dil9

**Emmett's POV**

It was too quiet! I hate quiet. Everyone was off hunting and I was wondering what I could do today to entertain myself. Well that was until Bella, Edward and my favorite niece Nessie came up to the main house to visit.

"Hey guys, how are you doing?" I hoped they didn't plan to leave soon.

"Where are Grandma and Grandpa Uncle Em?" Edward put her down and she ran into my arms giving me a hug and a kiss. I love my niece to pieces.

"They went out hunting with Alice, Rose and Jasper, sweetie."

"So they left you in the house alone?" Edward raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Edward, it's not like I'm some kind of a wild animal that's going to destroy the place, geez." Dude seriously needed to get a grip.

"I have a grip alright and know better. So, how about that wild party you threw last time with the wolves and the place was a mess?" Oops. He remembered that. But what the heck it was all in great fun.

"We were just having a good time, something you wouldn't know about, but your wife over there does. Besides, what teenager doesn't have a party when the parental units are away? There were no catastrophes you know, just good clean fun." Wait till the dude really figures out what little sis is capable of. Said little sis was glaring at me. Oh! Guess I shouldn't have spilled the beans yet…ha…

"You do realize you're not really a teenager? I know how to have fun. Bella, what does he mean?" Damn I just got my lil sis in trouble with my big mouth. I gave her my best puppy dog impression.

"Honey, that's really a story for another day." She gently rubbed his arm giving him goo-goo eyes before kissing him deeply. That's all it took and he had to shake his head to clear it and I saw him adjusting himself. Dude's got it bad. I gotta give it to Bells; she sure knows how to handle him. He seriously never knew what it was going to be like when he found his mate, but we all did.

"Please Edward, just chill man. So what brings you guys up here anyway?" I inquired.

I looked at them and I saw Edward looking down at his feet and I swear he'd be blushing if he was human. Something was clearly up and it wasn't just the bulge in his pants.

"Well…wonder…" Now he was scratching the back of his head, good heavens.

"Just spit it out man it's not like you're going to embarrass me or something. Oh wait a minute; it's not me, it's you that's embarrassed." How did I initially miss that, woah, I'm slipping, not good…so not good.

"Yeah, but…"

"Edward my man, nothing can be that bad, it's me you're talking to. The king of lewdness, non-embarrassment, and all around inappropriateness at any given time so just roll with it." My dear brother cringed. Oops…shouldn't have thought of Rose in her new garters…

Bella looked up at him biting her lip. I had witnessed that familiar look so many times that I could tell that she would be blushing right now if she could. I could see how hard this was for him in more ways than one so I decided to pull him aside and end his pain. I'm totally the best bro.

"Hey Bells, why don't you take Ness into the kitchen, grandma made cookies."

"Cookies, momma, cookies! Momma can I have one of grandma's cookies?" Her eyes were wide with excitement. Esme's cookies were apparently to die for. Not that I knew that, but I believed what Seth and the guys told me. I trusted their wolfy tongues. Would it be possible to tie two together? Hmmm, should test that theory some time later.

"Sure honey, let's go." Bella kissed Edward and grabbed Ness's hand to go to the kitchen.

Once they were in there, I looked at Edward and said, "Okay, they're gone, talk to me bro. What do you need? You know I'm there for ya."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it Em. We were wondering if maybe you could watch Ness for a little while…so…ya…know." So that's it. He's horny! The poor fellow. Guess it's no fun having a little one this early in marriage.

"You need a little sexing time with the wife?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"Yeah." He sheepishly admitted.

"Jeesh bro, you'd think that was something so horrible to ask me. It's not like you were asking me to eat a human or something. I'd be more than happy to spend time with my niece." Besides Ness and I just clicked! I barely contained my glee.

"I know it's just that I'd never have thought I'd have to ask that of anybody. My upbringing still shows through, can't help it." He admitted.

"You've come a long way in a short time. You're not going to be able to let go of your upbringing all at once. That's okay though I've seen the changes in you and I'm proud that you're moving forward into the 21st century. No worries, you can always come to me. I understand you a lot better than you think. I have to ask though; I thought you were at it all night while the sea monster slept?" He looked down again. "Hey, no embarrassment, talk to me."

"Normally yes, but last night she decided in the middle of the night that she wanted to sleep with us. She slipped into our room holding her stuffed wolf rubbing her eyes. That wouldn't have been so bad, but Bella was moaning and I was, ummm, shall we say midstroke, when she asked, 'momma what's daddy doing to you?' You never saw two people jump under the covers so fast in your life." I let out a laugh so loud it practically shook the entire house and I could see Edward starting to laugh a little too.

"I just have to ask, how did you explain that one?" Damn this was too funny to be real.

"I hadn't a clue how to handle that one, was in a bit of a shock until Bella elbowed me. She explained to Ness that daddy was just hugging her because it made mommy happy and I loved her."

"Doesn't sound so bad, but did she buy it?" Suspected there was more to this story.

"I thought she did until the next question came out of her mouth and I swear if I could've fainted I would've. As it was I almost fell off the bed." He shuffled back and forth on his feet. This was seriously a riot.

"What did she ask?" I prompted.

"She wanted to know if she had to hug people…naked too because she loved them."

"Holy Moly! She's a sharp one, noticed that you guys were naked, huh, definitely your kid." I laughed and he smirked. "How in the world did you answer that one?"

"Bella explained that only mommies and daddies hugged like that which she totally bought much to my relief. Bella then pulled her into a hug so that her face was in Bella's neck so that I could get my sleep pants on and then I hugged her so that Bella could get her pj's on as well."

"You guys wear pj's? Why is that when you don't sleep?"

"I guess is a throwback from when I spent all those nights in Bella's room. Oh god that sounds bad."

"But you didn't wear them then?"

"Uhh, yeah I did. At Bella's insistence I started going shirtless at night when I was over at one point when it was hot out. I was her air conditioning unit." He smirked, and yeah he enjoyed that I'm sure, a little pervy there bro. "Well, one night when I arrived she told me that sleeping or should we say being in her bed with street clothes on that I wore all day was a bit gross. She insisted I take my pants off and, of course, you know me I sort of freaked out. Oh god, I can't believe I'm going to say this you..." Sort of my ass, it was probably more like a total meltdown.

"Well did you take them off?" The perv in me just had to know.

"Yes…but not before she decided that I was taking too long to answer that she removed her top and bottoms so she only wore a tank top and these…lacey…boy shorts to bed. God I loved it and hated it. She thought that'd make me feel better her being in less clothing." He rubbed his hands over his face and continued. "Oh I felt better, but now had a bit of an issue in my pants."

"Always knew you fell 'hard' for her!" I laughed.

"I think she knew, but handed me sleep shorts to wear, as if that was going help hide anything. I quickly put them on as she watched and then we went to bed. I had to say it was more comfortable and I really enjoyed feeling Bella wrapped around me as she slept." He whispered the last part.

"I always knew you were a bit pervy."

"Am not."

"Bro it is okay, in fact quite normal, and nice to see that you're more like the rest of us." I walked up to him and gave him a giant hug. "Now go get your wife and take her out so you can give her a good and proper fucking. I'll take care of the sea monkey." He stared at me slack jawed, hmmm have to wonder.

"Have you guys ever done it anywhere but in a bed?"

"Umm…aah…" Yeah that pretty much answers my question. "The wall once."

"All right, you need to be a bit more adventurous." I continued on before he could say anything. "Nothing wild, but how about going to your meadow that you're so fond of and enjoy yourselves there. Being outdoors is nice and since it's your special place she'll appreciate it all the more. You'd probably get an awesome bj for it." Yeah that last bit sold him on it. Sealed the deal, or should I say sealed her lips around his cock for him.

"Sure you don't mind?" He asked while biting his lip in anticipation or worry. I wonder if he even realizes that he's picked up some of his wife's traits.

"Are you kidding me? Ness and I are going to have a great time. Now you two get going and I'll text you later on when we're back here at the house because I'm not going to the cottage. I have no plans on walking in on you two and having to witness your naked pale white boney ass getting it on with my lil sis. Go now." I proceeded to push him toward the kitchen door.

**Edward's POV**

I was seriously happy and relieved that Em was going to take Ness for a little bit. I knew that Bella and I needed some time since this morning she couldn't keep her hands to herself. They were on my arms, back, squeezing my ass and at one point palming my cock. Who stood right up and said anything you want ma'am, I'm front and center ready to begin service. I tried to rein him in, but the traitor just couldn't help himself and we rubbed against her leg while kissing her deeply. If that wasn't bad enough, my traitor hands were getting grabby with her ass and breasts as well and I knew I was only moments away from tossing her on the table and fucking her senseless. I had to do something, so I told her that maybe someone could watch Ness for a little bit which she quickly agreed. She knew too that we just didn't have enough time together last night before Ness came into our room.

That was another thing, her catching us in the middle of me fucking the living shit out of my wife with her moaning like nobody's business, totally embarrassing. Next time we agreed to lock the door. However, that interrupted our night after she crawled into bed and snuggled up with us for the rest of the evening. Being newly married, mated and having her as a vampire now, I was making up for the ninety plus years of being a virgin. Cat was out of the bag!

I also couldn't believe I admitted all that shit to Em. It was weird how the guy didn't even have to work at getting you to spill your guts to him. Hell, he should work with Charlie as an interrogator, well that is if he ever had to interrogate anyone in this small town which was highly unlikely.

I walked into the kitchen to get Bella and kiss my angel goodbye. She was so cute sitting there on the counter eating her cookie. That's when I noticed there were at least ten containers of cookies. Did my mom think that Ness would eat all those? She'd be sick for sure if she did. I walked over and put my arm around Bella and kissed her cheek.

"So my ladies, how are the cookies?"

"They're really good daddy and look they're all in the shape of different animals. Here you want to try some of mine; it's a lion, your favorite." Bella giggled and I heard the booming laugh come from the living room. She wanted to share her lion cookie with me. How could I turn that down? We've explained to her that we don't eat human food and animal blood like she does, just blood, but she clearly has so much of her mother in her that sharing comes naturally.

"Of course I do, grandma makes the best cookies ever and daddy loves cookies, especially lion ones." The smile that graced her face was priceless and the loud laughter continued from the living room. Wise ass, in more ways than one, but I couldn't be mad since he was a good brother and uncle.

She held the cookie out to me and I moved in and wrapped my lips around it. I made little humming noises and pretended to nibble on the cookie. I moved away and chewed thoughtfully. Yeah, Bella taught me how to pretend eat after the whole candy bar incident last week. Uggh, nauseating, gross and disgusting is all I have to say. Ness insisted on sharing her candy bar with me and held it to my lips. I naturally didn't want to disappoint her, so I took a bite.

"Those really are the best ever aren't they daddy?"

"Absolutely my angel, now mommy and daddy are going to go out for a while so you're going to stay with Uncle Emmett. Okay?"

"YAY! Uncle Emmett and I always have lots of fun." Don't I know it, probably too much fun. I felt a pang of sadness that I was leaving her, well that was until Bella opened her mind to me.

'_Edward, I don't want to leave her either, but we need to be alone for a bit. I don't want to attack you tonight in front of the family by accident like last time.'_ I smiled at that thought. I had just come back from grocery shopping and put the stuff away at the main house. Everyone was there and when Bella came into the room and saw me, she pounced. I was knocked to the ground. She was kissing me all over, we were grinding on one another, becoming hot and heavy, I ripped the sleeves of her shirt and mine was in complete tatters when we heard the laughing behind us. We were embarrassed, but I couldn't say I didn't enjoy it because I DID! Damn I was becoming such a perv. _'Besides, I have plans for you.'_ I felt her hand running on my leg as she pictured us fucking everywhere, in the shower, me taking her over the arm of the couch, me being laid out on the kitchen table with her riding me and us in the back garden off our bedroom; she was on her knees sucking me off. And, after the garden scene I knew our meadow would be perfect. I may or may not have imagined being naked with her there a time or fifty, making love, oh who am I kidding, I wanted to fuck her brains out and have her lips around my cock. Oh god, we needed to get out of here now.

I looked over at Ness who now had two cookies, one in each hand. "Honey, you know you can't eat all those cookies, you'll get sick, right?"

"Silly daddy, I know that. These five containers grandpa is taking to work today and the other eight are for Jake and the guys, but this one here is just for me. Well, you too if you want another lion snack before you leave."

"No sweetie I'm good, besides, I'm going to take mommy out to eat now anyway." Yes, the laughter still continued on from the living room. _'You mean eat mommy or get eaten by mommy?'_ Emmett thought at me.

"Okay, I'm going to go and give Uncle Emmett this bear cookie to eat." I had to smile she was so precious.

"Uncle Emmett just loves eating bears, they're his favorite." The laughter stopped dead. I picked Ness up off the counter, Bella and I kissed her goodbye. We watched her toddle off into the living room bear cookie in hand and then we exited out the back door.

"Edward Cullen, you know that was mean of you to encourage her to have Em eat the cookie." Bella laughed.

"I know, but payback's a bitch. After all these years of him pranking me, I get to have some fun with him for a change. Even if it does come in the form of my daughter holding a bear for him to eat which he will because he has no control." I grinned.

"Oh don't I know it, you guys are so wrapped around her little finger it's not even funny. I so love this new side of you. We going to the cottage now or are you taking me to lunch first?"

"I thought that we'd skip the cottage and go to our meadow instead. We can have lunch along the way." I smiled.

She gasped and stopped walking, "we're going to be outside? Wow, I love that idea. Do you know how often I thought about us being in our meadow doing all sorts of wicked things?"

Now it was my turn to gasp, "I guess both of us have had the same thoughts because I've fantasized about it often, but thought you'd be…opposed to being outside…I thought it was…ungentlemanly to ask such a thing."

"Don't be silly, you are always a gentleman so what swayed you today?"

"Umm…well your…thoughts of us in the garden. I really wanted that."

"Then I think we should get going don't you? And I want to ride you too." Hot damn, when we get back I'm getting ridden on the table.

"I know I saw that and can't wait."

"Well, that's going to be when we get back to the house, but now I want to ride you." I looked at her in confusion. "Okay, mind out of the gutter for a second. I want to ride on your back to our meadow like I used to when I was human. So get flipping me onto your back and giddy-up my vampman." She laughed.

I didn't have to be told twice, I flung Bella onto my back and started running. I know she liked running, but this was something she knew I liked to do, as I admitted to her once that I missed being able to run with her on my back. She was giggling and pressing her lips to my neck, face and ears. It was exhilarating, between the feel of Bella being pressed so tightly onto my back, the wind whipping around us with her hair flying spreading her scent that engulfed me, and the erotic nature of her lips and hands all over me, it was becoming a bit difficult to run at top speed with my cock on full alert and throbbing. However, I wouldn't want it any other way.

We arrived at our meadow and she slid down and around to the front of me. She slipped a little and I had to laugh. I grasped her firmly to help steady her and had to wonder if she did that on purpose to make this feel like our first time here. You know what, I didn't care, it was sweet if she did. I kissed her slowly and firmly, taking my time as I deepened the kiss while bringing us to the center of our meadow and laid us down in the sun.

We had all afternoon so didn't have to move quickly. We would savor one another just like on our honeymoon after I was seduced by my vixen wife. Thank the heavens for sending her to me and for her unending faith in me, us. We went at it like rabbits after that night and left quite a bit of damage in our wake, yeah that might've been me mostly damaging stuff, but my wife wasn't too shabby in that department either while we were there. I still haven't told Carlisle and Esme about the damage yet, sort of slipped my mind, another day, I have a wife that needs sexing up.

**Emmett**

That was the funniest shit ever, Ness having Edward eat a cookie, but that wasn't nearly as funny as the chocolate bar. The face he made then was priceless. My good time was short-lived, however, when I heard him tell her that I loved to eat bears. She waddled into the living room and hopped up onto my lap to present me the beastie bear in her hot little hand.

"Here you go, I know you like bears and daddy said so too." Yeah, daddy was going to get a bear up his ass.

I took the beast from her hand and thought about what I could do with it. There was no place to hide it with her right here, I needed a plan, got it. "How about I save this here and we go take the cookies to the wolves down on the rez and then I can eat this with them?"

She thought about it for a minute and then her eyes lit up. "Can we visit Emily and then Mrs. Fielding at the store?"

"Sure thing, let's get going."

Mrs. Fielding owned the store on the rez. She was a nice older lady who had lived there her whole life and stocked lots of neat things. I never told Rose that the hairbrush I bought her for her birthday that she loved and gushed over was from there. I wasn't sure how she'd take that so didn't feel the need to elaborate and she didn't ask.

I got us settled in my jeep and we made our way down to the rez. I pulled up to Emily and Sam's house and we got out of the car. Seems none of the guys were around, but then again it was almost lunch so I'm sure they'd be here soon. Emily came out and greeted us.

"Ness, Emmett, so nice to see you guys. What brings you down?" She inquired.

"Nice to see you too Emily." I leaned us over and we gave Emily a hug and kiss on the cheek. I figured it couldn't hurt since none of the guys were around to flip out and phase, namely angry bird Paul, so I just let me be myself. Besides it was a good example for Ness to know how to greet people and not be standoffish like her Victorian parents.

"Daddy is taking mommy to lunch. They're having a romantic date so daddy couldn't eat anymore lion cookies otherwise he wouldn't be able to eat with mommy. Mommy said I didn't have to hug people I love naked that only mommies and daddies did that." Oh shit, Edward was going to have fit. "And we brought grandma's cookies for everyone!" She exclaimed.

Emily reached over to take Ness from my arms and into hers, "Em why don't you grab the cookies and put them in the kitchen before the guys get here. If they catch you with food out here you might get wolf-piled." She laughed.

"Sounds good." I went into the car and grabbed the containers and heard Emily talking to Ness.

"That's so nice of your daddy taking your mommy to a romantic lunch. Your mommy is very lucky and I can tell your daddy loves her so much." That was interesting; I guess she didn't mind us anymore. Bella being friends with her beforehand probably made it easier to accept us. Well that and I was always down here since the guys are a blast to hang with. "My Sam took me to lunch yesterday and we had a very nice time. We ate at Bella Italia in Port Angeles. Did you know that is where your daddy took your momma to dinner for the first time?"

"Really?" I questioned. I had no idea that Edward took Bells out for a meal.

"What did they eat?" Ness asked and I was glad because I wanted details.

"Well from the way I heard it, your momma went dress shopping with her friends for prom and then left the store to get a book on our legends. You see she was doing research because of Jake's story of our legends and things that she noticed about your daddy being so different. Your momma is very smart and observant. She bought her book and got lost on the way back to meet her friends. There were some bad men that wanted to hurt your mommy, but luckily your daddy was following her to protect her. She didn't know he was following her at the time, but he scared the bad men off rescuing your momma. He then took her to the restaurant where she was supposed to meet her friends and they were coming out as they ate already. Well your daddy wanted to make sure she ate dinner so he took her to eat. She had mushroom ravioli and your daddy told her that he was on a special diet and couldn't eat anything. That was the night that she found out he could read minds, everyone except hers and that his hands were ice cold as she touched his hand in the car."

"Wow I had no idea all that happened. No one ever said anything. Hmmm, now that I think about it, I guarantee you that was the same night that Carlisle asked me and Jasper to accompany him to Port Angeles to help him with some bad guys to make sure they were going to be arrested by the police. He never said why we had to get involved and we didn't ask. We went there caught and tied them up, leaving them on the doorstep of the police station."

"Daddy really loves mommy, guess that's why they do all that naked hugging. Does Sam naked hug you?" I had to laugh as Emily blushed. Edward and Bella are never going to show their faces to anyone again after they found out they've been outted.

"Oh honey, I have to explain something to you about naked hugging." I couldn't wait to hear this one, I was all ears. "Now that is something that we married adults do sometimes, but we don't talk about it. It's like our secrets of being vampires, werewolves and hybrids. Do you understand?" I'm not sure I did.

"I thought it was only mommies and daddies?"

"Yes, and mommies and daddies are married, and I'm going to be a mommy soon too."

"Do you think I'm going to have new baby brother or sister soon too?" Man she is so Edward and Bella's kid connecting the dots so quickly.

"Well, honey, I think you should talk to your mommy or daddy about that."

"Okay. But then can I talk to you and other vampires about it?" Oh lord, I can't even imagine if she brought this up in front of other people.

"No, we don't talk about it at all. It's our very own secret that we don't share with others. It's like some fun thing you've probably done with your Uncle and don't talk about because you guys would get in trouble." Damn the woman was good.

"OHHH, I know what you mean, we snuck off…oh wait I can't tell you that." I smiled, yeah we snuck off from the family hunt and climbed a tree hanging upside down from a branch swinging and laughing one time and just told everyone we thought we smelled a deer.

"That's it, now you get it." Emily smiled, she was good at this. Wait she's pregnant?

"Emily, you're having a baby?"

"Yes, we've only told a few people so far."

"That's awesome, congrats, you definitely should have Carlisle as your doc. Maybe then it would get people to accept his free medical care down here. You know he's the best. And you have to call Bells tonight and tell her, she's going to be so excited for you."

"I'll call her tonight. I was actually thinking of asking him as I'm a little nervous about it since Sam's a wolf and all."

"You definitely should, and if you want I'll ask for you. I know he'll say yes, he likes you guys and feels like we're one big family."

"I definitely will. And, you might want to mention this conversation to Bella." She pointed to Ness and I nodded knowing I would have to in case anything came out by accident.

"So do you have any other stories about my mommy and daddy?" She asked and I kind of wanted to know too.

"A few, but we don't have time for all of them. So how about I tell you one more and by then everyone will be here so we can have lunch."

"Okay."

"One time your daddy took your mommy to a movie. It was a scary movie, but your daddy didn't know it because the name didn't sound scary. Your mommy picked it and during the movie she got scared. He put his arm around her and kissed her to make her forget about the movie. Well, your mommy told me that he kissed her through the entire movie because he didn't know where the scary parts were going to be and didn't want her scared." Emily quirked a knowing eyebrow at me. Wow, Bells was either scared or pushing Edward's limits. Yeah, I'll go with the limits. She's a smart one, just like the sea monster.

"Daddy is so sweet." That and he probably enjoyed the heck out of it too. Wonder if he knew he was being manipulated or did he know the movie was scary, sly dog.

"He's sure is." Emily stated. The guys all piled into the kitchen just then.

"Hey Em, Ness, how are ya?" Seth greeted us with a hug. He was another one that had no fear of us.

"Good, we brought Esme's cookies."

"Ah man, your mom is the best. We love those cookies."

"But the bear one on top is Uncle Emmett's to eat, so you don't eat it." Ness firmly stated and they looked at me.

"You know bears are my favorite food." They all rolled their eyes at me, guess they figured it out.

We all chatted, ate lunch and I had my cookie which I was able to get Quil to eat most of by sneaking pieces under the table to him. Sam was late arriving and when he did I got up and went over to him.

"Congrats man." I shook his hand.

"Thanks." He glanced over at a smiling Emily.

I whispered to him at vampire speed, "you make sure she calls Carlisle; she's scared because you're a wolf, he can calm her down, and she'll trust what he says because he knows what you are." He looked at me in surprise; guess he didn't realize she was scared. He nodded and whispered his thanks for telling him.

"Can we go to Mrs. Fielding's store now?"

"Sure we can, let me help clean up first. Quil and Embry, clear the table. Colin you sweep the floors. Seth put the garbage out. Paul you wash, Jared you dry. Sam you sit down and relax with your wife. Jake you visit with Ness." I knew Jake wanted some time with his imprint and they were so much more relaxed, like little kids, when the loon who is my brother wasn't around. He just needs time to deal with the obvious, that it was a twist of fate that Jake imprinted on his daughter, that and probably payback for both of them the way they treated Bells. Even though I've told him time and time again that he's the best choice for her since he'll live forever. I'm sure he doesn't want his daughter waiting for a hundred years for a mate or worse yet maybe never having one. Even Rose agreed with me and we all know how rarely that happens. I knew he'd come around, but it was just too soon for his stubborn vampiric ass.

"Why do I have to wash and what are you doing?" Paul seethed.

I saw Sam trying to stand. I looked and held my hand out for him to sit indicating that I would handle it. "YOU are going to do as you're asked to help out this lovely woman here who is always feeding your huge furry butt. She slaved over a hot stove cooking this fantastic lunch when she didn't have to. It is the least you can do to say thank you. Not that it is any of your business, but I will be making her a cup of tea so she can get off her feet and be with her husband for a little while. If you have a problem with that, why don't we take it outside and I'll explain the concept of manners to you." He knew I meant business, I could and would take his ass down and all the guys knew it too. The other guys were all smiling and trying not to laugh. "Well?"

"Fine, I'll wash, but that's only because Emily does so much for us." He grumbled.

"Good, and from now on you guys are going to pitch in around here. Make sure you tell Leah. Emily needs to be off her feet and if I hear otherwise, I'll be coming down with Jasper to have him rolling some of his mojo emotions on all of you." I pointedly looked at each one of them. What's wrong with these guys? They're here all the time and don't do a thing, that's just wrong.

"Thank you Emmett, I really could stand to be off my feet for a bit." Emily stated.

"I know and if they start taking advantage, you let me know. Okay?" She smiled and agreed. Sam looked at me and mouthed a 'thank you' to me. I guess he didn't realize since he has so much on his plate with these guys.

After that everyone did what they had to do and we were going to head to the store.

"So who's coming with us?"

"I'm in." Jake, Quil, Embry and Seth announced. The other guys indicated they were on patrol, but would stop by if they could.

I gave Emily a hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye and shook Sam's hand. The guys all piled into the jeep with us and we headed to the store. It was a short drive; we were there in about five minutes. As we drove the guys complimented me on putting Paul in his place. They didn't realize she needed the help and promised they'd be helping from now on which made me happy. Emily was good people.

"We're here!" I announced. I couldn't wait to get inside and see what they had, maybe something nice for my Rosie. I let Jake get Ness out of the jeep and him and Seth each took a hand and swing walked her to the store. She was giggling up a storm.

"Hi Mrs. Fielding, how are you?"

"I'm doing well Emmett. How did your wife like the gift?" I think she knew what we were, but never asked.

"She loved the brush and it now has a prominent spot on our dresser. She uses it every day. I'm going to look around to see if I can find something else for her as a 'just because' gift."

"Oh that is so thoughtful of you. Aren't you just the sweetest, you know my Jack, god rest his soul, was just like that. See this pin here; he bought it for me when we were dating for no reason other than he loved me." It really was a beautiful pin, silver with small loops and blue stones.

"It's really beautiful and I do my best. I love my Rosie to pieces."

"I can tell by the twinkle in your eyes when you say her name. You know, I have just the thing that she might like."

"Really? What is it?"

"Here take a look at this." She slid a drawer open and brought out the most exquisite hair clip with matching earrings. It was an intricate design almost like our family crest and it had red carnelian stones in it. I knew right away she'd love it.

"I'll take them; she's going to look beautiful in them."

"Are you sure, they're a little expensive, but they're handmade by Jonathan."

"Absolutely, I can afford them; I have very good luck investing in the stock market." Well it was true.

That's when I heard the squealing coming from the back of the store and got worried because it was Ness.

"Don't look so worried Emmett, I bet she just saw the kittens back there." Oh god what if she eats one. I need to be cool, calm yourself, she's Edward's kid, she wouldn't do that.

I breathed out a sigh and smiled, "I'm just not used to hearing that unless I'm making her laugh you know. I'm the fun one in the family after all."

She smiled at me and said, "Come on then Mr. Fun, let's go see them."

"Okay." I hope the animals don't freak out; I'll just have to stand back from them.

We walked inside the store room and there in a box were the most adorable white kitties. Ness picked one up and held it and Seth the other one.

"Look Uncle Em, isn't she so cute and cuddly." She jumped up and held the kitty out toward me.

It was weird the animal didn't even flinch or anything. Slowly I put my hands out to take it from her. She placed it in my hands and it squirmed a little until it found a comfortable position. So weird, I didn't understand.

"No, you need to hold Snowy in your arms like a baby."

"Oh okay." Not sure that was a good idea, but everyone was looking at me, so I moved her closer to me and she snuggled into my chest and purred.

"Wow, listen to that, she purring like crazy. I've never heard her purr so loud for anyone else." Mrs. Fielding stated.

"She's really cute, but not as cute as you Ness."

"Here, take your finger Uncle Em and rub Snowy's face by her whiskers. Snowy likes that." Ness showed me once and then I did it. She was so soft and warm.

"So her name's Snowy? What is the other one's name?" I asked.

"I don't know what the other one's name is since he's going to another family. I named her Snowy because I like that name and no one's taking her, so can we take her home? Please, please, please. I'll feed her and make sure she gets petted all the time."

Holy Shit! She wanted to take an animal into a house full of animal eating vampires. Crap, how can I explain this and not hurt her feelings.

"Snowy is going to be so lonely she won't have anyone. Can we please?" All the guys were staring at me and smiling. Damn they knew I was totally caving like a building that was imploded. I'll fix their asses, but first I have furball…ahh…a Snowy to deal with.

"Okay, we can take Snowy, but only if Mrs. Fielding says it's okay for us to adopt her." Say no please. Edward's going to kill me dead, as in dead as a doornail, resuscitate me and kill me again dead, dead as Fred, the my babysitter is dead dead.

"Can we adopt Snowy, Mrs. Fielding?" I was so hoping she'd say no, but somehow didn't think that was going to happen in this century.

"Of course you can sweetie. I was having trouble finding a place for her to live and this store room is no place for such a pretty kitty." And there you have it; the Cullen's are now the proud owners of their first house pet.

Edward was going flip the fuck out so many ways to Sunday that it wasn't even going to be funny. Bella will try to calm his ass down while trying to explain why it was a good idea to have a cat, maybe she'll need to toss in a blowjob or two. Alice will be thinking of ways to dress it up. Jasper will probably faint from the sheer volume of crazy emotions. Rose will tell me I'm a good Uncle. The grandparents will stand with Ness telling Edward to lighten the fuck up, it's only a cat.

"See, Snowy can come home with us." Ness was all excited now. "Snowy, you're going to love our house, it's so big and you'll love walking all over the place looking out all the windows. We have a nice fireplace to snuggle up in front of and grandma makes the best cookies, although I don't think you eat cookies, but if you do, you'll love them. You can sleep in my room, I have a comfy bed and when we sleep at grandma's, we can sleep in my daddy's old room; he has a nice comfy bed too, mommy said so. You're just going to love living with us!" She rambled out and the ca... Snowy blinked and then meowed at her like she understood what she was saying. Great tell me we have a gifted cat to add to the family. Wonder if Edward can read her mind? That'd be weird.

"Umm, Mrs. Fielding, we'd like to take Snowy, but...what…do we put her in, feed her and is there anything else we need to know?" God I think I'm sweating.

"Well, of course I do dears. Come out to the store and you can buy some things for Snowy and maybe you want to look at a catalogue for other things."

We walked out into the store and she started piling stuff on the counter. How did one small thing need so much stuff? "What's this?"

"Cat bed, you know just in case you want to put it by the fireplace." Hmmm, yeah I was being snowed over, but what the hell Ness loved it. Guess the cat needs to have her catnap!

"This is tinned cat food. You could buy more when you run out." Guess the cat needed cat nip too. What am I thinking? A cat high on catnip! So not good in a house full of vampires.

"Here we need these for Snowy." She placed a few balls and I'm not sure what else with the bed. "She needs to have toys in case I can't be petting her while I'm sleeping or you know eating."

Damn wolves were snickering up a storm. Plan has been formed and now it was their execution…I meant I had to execute them…it!

"I almost forgot to tell you that Snowy is deaf. It happens often with white cats when they have blue eyes. I was so worried about her and now that I know she is going to the best home ever that she'll be safe because you'll keep her in the house. If she was outside she wouldn't be able to hear a predator approach and she'd get hurt." Her voice cracked at the end and almost made me cry. "Well now I don't need to worry about that because you will take good care of her." Surrrre, Snowy wasn't going to need to go out to find predators because they'd be all living in the house with her.

"I can guarantee you that we'll take good care of Snowy." I firmly stated.

"I know…it's…just…I'm going to miss her." She looked sad.

"You can come and visit us Mrs. Fielding. My Jake and Seth come to visit us all the time." Ness said. Oh heavens, now we're having company too. Emse will be happy about that though.

"That sounds lovely, maybe…oh who am I kidding that would be lovely. I can then meet your lovely wife." Lovely, just lovely, as in it would be lovely if I'd be able to sneak off in the night and go to the north pole to hide out for a while, a long while.

"You can just have Jake let me know when you might want to come by and someone will drive you over."

"Sounds wonderful." Geez she was so excited, guess she doesn't get out much or at all.

"Hey you guys help me get this stuff in the car. I'm going to carry Snowy."

They got all the stuff in the back and piled into the jeep. I had to laugh; they aren't going to know what hit them. I headed out onto the roadway, pressed the button and we were flying.

"Em you missed the turnoff." Embry yelled. I didn't answer. We were now on the main road.

"That's it, I'm jumping out." Quil said. "Hey we're locked in, open the doors."

"Not a good idea, there are people here." Jake said. "So where we going Em?"

I smiled. "You're all going for a little visit at Villa Cullen." Jake laughed along with me. He knew I was the devil incarnate.

"Let us out." They yelled.

"Knock it off, Seth and I have been there tons of times. It's not like they're going to drink you or something, they'd get food poisoning if they did." I looked at Jake and held out my fist to bump his.

Seth and Jake were laughing and just then the phone rang. I pressed the button on the steering wheel to answer it. "The King of Fun speaking, present your fun idea and be recognized."

"Emmett, cut that out. Where are you and my granddaughter?"

"HELP, we've been cat-napped by the cat-burglar." Quil yelled and I rolled my eyes.

"Who is that?"

"Don't worry about it Esme, it's just Quil and Embry. They think they're funny." Jake said. Damn I really like Jake; he's starting to be fun. The King of Fun has an assistant, who knows what we can do now.

"Mom, we'll be home in about ten minutes and the guys are with me."

"That's wonderful, I just baked a devil's food cake and I'll whip up some food. You guys hungry?" She was so excited.

"Are you kidding, these guys are always hungry." I looked over at them and smiled. They grinned back since they knew it wasn't going to be so bad.

"Hey Mrs. C, how are you?" Seth inquired.

"I'm just fine Seth. I'm so happy you're coming over; we haven't seen you in a while. I miss you."

"I know been busy, miss you too. Is Edward around?" He's around alright, all around, inside and outside his wife right now.

"Not at the moment, but they'll be back soon." Mom stated and we said our goodbyes.

"Since when are you all buddy-buddy with the vamps?" Embry asked Seth.

"Duh, always have been, besides Esme cooks like damn Emeril and Bobby Flay all rolled into one. She loves feeding people, besides she's really sweet." They looked at Seth oddly, but he didn't care since he loved coming to our place.

"So what's up with wanting to see Edward?" Quil asked.

"Nothing much, just been talking to him about some ideas I have for a business and he's helping me work out a plan."

"Really? Why?"

"Quil, if you haven't guessed it already, I happen to be friends with Edward. Well, Emmett too. I want to have someone who knows about setting up a business that I can trust and that happens to be Edward. The dude is smart and honest as they come." That was certainly true, my bro could be uptight as all hell, but he was smart and if you got Alice into the mix you'd be set.

The rest of the drive was pretty much quiet except for a meow or two from Snowy as Ness explained our family to her. We pulled up in front of the house and I unlocked the doors letting everyone out.

"Ahhh, sweet freedom, I never thought I smell the air again." Embry stated and got down to kiss the ground.

"That's seriously gross man, who knows who or what's been on the ground." I stated and he looked horrified. "You know like peed on it and stuff."

"I think I'm sick, I need a doctor." Embry said.

"Someone call a doctor?" Carlisle came rushing out of the house with Esme behind him looking all kinds of worried.

"Yeah, the fool over there who just kissed the dirty ground." Seth pointed at Embry. "I think he needs a full physical, maybe a prostate exam too." Embry shuddered at that thought.

We were all laughing at Embry's embarrassment over the whole situation. Maybe that'll teach him not to get so dramatic around here. Doubted it, but maybe he'd at least think twice next time.

"Don't think that's quite necessary, but maybe as a precaution." Carlisle said and the look on Embry's face was priceless. "Just kidding Embry, now come on inside, Esme has quite the spread out for you guys." Who would have thought dear ole dad was a comedian.

Jake got Ness out and I grabbed the puff ball's travel container and we walked inside. I put it down by the door and went out to get the rest of the stuff when I heard the meow and ma and pa dracula suck in a deep breath and with shaky voices ask "what was that?"

"Grandma, Grandpa, come over here and meet Snowy. Look how pretty she is and I told her all about you." She excitedly rambled out just as I entered the house.

"Sweetie, who's Snowy?" Esme asked. This was going to be interesting.

"Oh Grandma, she's my new cat. Mrs. Fielding at the store said she had no home so we adopted her and besides living in the storeroom wasn't good for such a pretty kitty cat. She needs us." Carlisle and Esme stared at me like I was crazy. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Honey, I'm not sure she's going to want to stay with us, she might be afraid." Carlisle said glaring at me.

"But she's not grandpa, look here, you can hold her and everything." She scooped up Snowy and held her out in front of him. "You just have to hold her like a baby in your hands because she's so little." He put his hands together and she placed her in them. Snowy immediately snuggled into Carlisle and purred.

"Wow, that's amazing. I don't understand. She's quite sweet, just like you Ness."

"Well dad, it's because she's deaf and apparently it's something with the blue eyes and white cats. She can't tell if a predator is coming." Totally pulling out the dad card. "So what do you think mom?"

"Umm..uh…I see no problem with it." She stuttered out.

Just then Rose, Alice and Jasper flew in the door back from their hunt. They all stopped dead in their tracks seeing Carlisle holding Snowy.

"Iiiiisss…thaaat…a cat?" Jasper asked while hiding behind Alice.

"Yes, it is and it's Ness's new pet." I explained everything to them. Jasper was still hiding behind Alice, but as soon as she made a move to hold the cat, he moved back against the wall. It was then that I decided maybe I should get the horndogs up here too.

_**E, Put it away and come on up to the big house. We're back. Brother Bear**_

_**BB, Be there in a bit and I've put it away many times up, over, under, upside down. E**_ That so wasn't Edward, definitely Bella, time to have some fun.

_**E, Did you fuck her on the tree branch like I told you? Did you test out how many blowjobs she could do in a row? BB**_ Yeah that should get her.

_**BB, I got bored after 20. E**_ No one gets bored.

_**E, How was that bondage kit, sex swing and whip you bought? BB**_

_**BB, Be there. E**_ Score another one for me. Did she seriously think she was going to out sex talk me?

They arrived about five minutes later looking a bit disheveled. The minute they entered the house Ness ran to them screaming momma, daddy. They scooped her up and hugged her. While they were placing kisses all over her face, no one noticed that Carlisle had put Snowy down.

**Edward's POV**

After an afternoon of fucking my wife senseless in our meadow, we decided to head home. We ran back to our cottage hand-in-hand, naked I might add, since at some point clothes were ripped off one another. Entering through the door, I spun Bella around and pulled her tightly against me and my raging friend. Her hands grasped my behind and I moaned into her mouth as I kissed her sweet pink lips. We decided to have a little snack on the way home and there was still a little blood staining them.

"Fuck, you have no idea how it turns me on with the blood on your lips and breasts." I licked down her neck all the way to her breasts before taking in one of her sweet bloody nipples. I sucked greedily and bit down causing her to moan out.

"God yes, Edward more." The lady asked, so I moved to the other one licking all the blood off by laving my tongue everywhere. "Ugg…ummm…naaaa…" She uttered. I continued until I removed all the blood and she was a needy mess of lust. Hell, so was I.

I made my move and in one fell swoop I had her bent over to the arm of the couch and drove myself into her.

"Fuck Yes!" She yelled.

"Damn you are so fucking tight, shit, I love your pussy baby." I pounded into her with reckless abandon.

"Your pussy, your pussy." She yelled back causing me to expand more and thrust harder.

"Damn right it's my pussy, no one else gets to fuck this pussy but me. MINE!" I yelled back as my possessiveness took hold.

I leaned over her back more placing kisses on her spine while still pounding into her. I felt her fluttering around me and as soon as she started clamping down I knew. "Cum for me baby, cum all over my cock, drench me with your sweetness."

"Fuck…Edward…yes…Edddwaaard…" She screamed as her orgasm hit squeezing and pulling mine right along with her. I collapsed on top of her and we rode it out together.

Once we came down from out highs, I looked around, damn, "Love, we are definitely going to need a new couch." The side was cracked, cushions ripped and I might've snapped a piece of the back off.

"Most definitely. You know, I was thinking that we should probably do this outside more since what we break out there is no big deal, no one needs to know. We're going to have to ask Esme to get us a new one."

"That's a conversation I'm not looking forward to as it's been only three days since we replaced our dresser." Having to explain to my mom why we needed new stuff all the time was embarrassing, even if she told me it was nothing to worry about. "Since we're on a roll, what do you say we go for the gold with your idea of me, you and the dining room table?" Just thinking about what she let me see before had me hard again.

"Why not, might as well ask for all the furniture replacement in one conversation. Hop up on the table and lay flat." I turned heading for the table and she smacked my ass. Fuck, I loved when she was feisty.

I laid flat and she directed my arms and legs, and then mounted me torturously slow. She spun around on my cock until she was facing away from me and started to ride me and the table into oblivion. Fifteen minutes later we were lying on the floor with table pieces scattered everywhere. I held her in my arms when I heard my phone buzz with a text. Bella grabbed it and started laughing as she responded.

"Who is it love?"

"Emmett. He thinks he's being so great with the sexual innuendos. They want us to come up to the house." She responded a few more times and then her eyes went wide before she typed out a short answer tossing the phone on the floor and hiding her face in my chest. I grabbed the phone to see the messages and laughed. "What's so funny?" She mumbled into my chest.

"Oh nothing, just the last thing he said that must've got to you." I couldn't help but to continue laughing.

"You didn't buy any of that stuff did you?" She asked my chest and the vibrations were running straight to my cock waking him up from his post-orgasmic haze. Yeah, like they'd go anywhere else.

"Don't be silly and besides I don't even think there is such a thing as a sex swing." I confidently stated.

"That's true; bet he made that up just trying to get to me." She said as she kissed my chest and I knew if I didn't stop this we weren't going to be able to leave anytime soon and there would be hell to pay.

"I think we need to get dressed and head up there. I miss our little girl."

"Me too."

We showered, only having a quickie in there, before getting dressed and heading up to the house. We arrived in no time entering through the back door. I smelt the wolves and spotted Jasper standing up against the wall. Well that was odd, but didn't have time to think about it as just then Ness screamed and jumped into our arms. We kissed her all over her face.

"Did you have a good day with Uncle Em?" Well it had to be a good day as she was in one piece and so was he.

"We had the best day, EVER! Emily made us lunch, told me how you took momma to dinner in La Bella Italia after you saved her, you told her you could read minds and she felt your cold hand." I saw everyone gasp as I had never told anyone about that part of the evening. I could see Esme getting a misty _'my sweet baby boy, what a wonderful story. I'd really like to hear about it.'_ I smiled and nodded as if I could deny her that as it would make her so happy.

"Then the time you took momma to a scary movie and how you had to kiss momma all during the movie so she wasn't scared." Oh sweet Jesus, I thought no one knew about that. I looked at Bella and she shrugged with a smile. I guess she must've shared. Emmett: _'oh bro you're such a horndog.'_ Jasper: _'wouldn't have pegged you as such a slick character, proud of you man.'_ Carlisle: _'You do know that I was more than surprised when Bella said she'd see you later when I was at the police station that night, but never had a chance to ask. This fills in so many blanks.'_ Good heavens, I'm going to be interrogated at one point or another, I can see it now, they'll borrow Charlie's lamp to shine in my face, and maybe bring Charlie in himself.

Then Ness whispered in my ear, not that everyone couldn't hear anyway, "she said that only mommy's and daddy's hug naked and that's how they get to be mommies and daddies. I can't wait for my new brother or sister to get here since you were hugging mommy naked last night." I froze having no idea what to say at this point and looking over at Carlisle for help. He had his hand on his mouth holding in what laughter he could while Em, Rose, the wolves; Jasper and Alice were in full blow hysterics. Lord help me. "Oh, we went to Mrs. Fielding's store too."

"Well honey, we need to explain a few things about…" was all I got out when I felt something step on my foot causing me to scream and jump back against the windows. I was breathing hard and if I had a heart it would be beating right out of my chest. "What the hell was that? What's roaming in the house? Esme? What is that noise? Sounds like purring."

"Oh silly daddy, that was just Snowy." She wiggled out of Bella's arms and picked up this white thing and started walking towards me. I pressed myself further into the glass causing it to creak.

"Dude, it's just a cat!" Emmett stated. _'Dude you're embarrassing yourself, you need to get a grip.'_ He thought.

"A CAT! Why is there a cat here?" Since when do we have animals roaming the house? I looked at all of them.

"Daddy, Snowy lives here."

"WHAT?" I think I might be hyperventilating.

"She's my pet cat. So she lives with me." Ness looked at me with shining puppy dog eyes. Oh god! I was speechless.

"What's the matter Eddie…cat got your tongue?" Emmett was laughing at me.

"You see she needed a good home and Mrs. Fielding let us adopt her. She's going to live with us in the cottage and, well, up here too when I'm here." Oh no, no, no, how can we have a pet?

"Don't be catty Edward! Let Ness have her cat, you have pussy all the time." Emmett wriggled his eyebrows.

"You already have a pussy cat?" Ness looked at me with huge eyes. Oh god! What do I say now?

"It's just that he loves cats Ness." Jasper was quick on the draw, thank god.

"Really? Here daddy, you can hold her, you'll like her, she's so pretty and we can give her the best home away from all the mean animals that would hurt her."

"But honey, ummm…wwee…eat animals." Didn't she see that?

Her eyes went wide, "you're not going to eat her?" she gasped.

"Oh no, of course not, no one would do that." I quickly reassured her.

"Good, now put your hands out." I did as she asked and she placed the cat into them. I cradled her like a baby and she snuggled into me. It was cute I'll admit that, but we still couldn't have a pet.

"She's very pretty and sweet honey, just like you."

"I know, grandpa said that too!" _'Edward, give up the fight now, Snowy is staying, there's no way that any one of us are going to put her out in the cold.'_ Carlisle thought, but I had to try.

"Sweetie, it'll be so hard on her to live with us, don't you think?"

I looked around and noticed that Emmett, Bella and Ness were standing more or less together pouting at me. Then I heard _'please let me stay'_ from someplace, "who just spoke?"

"Dude, no one spoke, you're hallucinating." Jasper said.

"Carlisle, Esme?"

"We already decided that Snowy is welcome in our house here any time she wants to come up with Ness." Esme said and Carlisle's thought confirmed it. They were both smiling wildly at me. Traitors!

"Alice, Jasper, Rose?"

"We love her." They all agreed. Did I say Traitors, all of them!

"Daddy, please, please, please." Ness begged and I was now considering it.

'_please let me stay'_ I heard again and when I looked down at those blinking blue eyes, I knew, I totally caved. I was now a proud servant to a cat. Dogs have masters, cats have staff.

"Alright, but you're going to have to take care of Snowy."

"YES! I LOVE YOU DADDY!" I smiled down at my princess and couldn't be happier.

"I love you too sweetheart."

"I love you Edward." Bella said and then opened her mind to me thinking all the dirty things she wanted to do tonight with me. Yeah, I was grinning like a fool who just won the lottery.

I pet Snowy slowly with my finger and she purred and flipped over in my arms. She really was sweet. I looked up and everyone was smiling at me. "What?" I handed Snowy back to Ness.

"Oh nothing my sweet boy, I'm just so happy for you." Esme declared kissing me on my cheek. "Now, Ness, did you and Snowy want to spend the night here in your daddy's old room?" She asked.

"That'd be great grandma because then mommy and daddy can do some more hugging so I can have that brother or sister, maybe it'll be twins because you naked hugged twice." Everyone laughed as Bella hid her face in my chest and Esme put her arms around us and thought _'no need to be ashamed honey, it's just the innocence of childhood. I'll try to explain it all to her tonight.'_ I whispered a thank you mom in Esme's ear. She looked up at me with a beaming face and kissed my cheek.

**~~ Six Months Later ~~**

**Edward's POV**

Bella and I were sitting on our tenth new sofa of the year; nine were our fault and one Snowy, who decided that first month it was a good scratching post until we got a regular scratching post. Esme has even designed a special cat bed that is next to the fireplaces in both houses. Who knew there was so many things one small four legged creature would need. Snow clearly lived like a queen.

I'd like to say it's been all overcast clouds and rose petals, but I'd be lying. The first month was the most difficult in our adjustment to having a pet. Well, let's be honest, my adjustment because it seemed she gravitated toward me. When I would read to Ness on the couch, she would climb into my lap and curl up. Needless to say, everyone found it quite funny. If I was home alone with her, she'd follow me everywhere like she did Ness. Oh, did I mention that I was now the cat's chef, groomer and pooper-scooper. Ness taking 'care' of Snowy lasted all of six days.

Then there was the fact that Emmett and Carlisle were down here all the time. Emmett to play with said pet, and Carlisle to observe her so he says, although Esme was never far behind. On numerous occasions I heard him calling her with the sspsspsspp sound and she ran right over purring and rubbing her face on his hand. I think he was down here because he was just enjoying us being such a 'normal' family. On one particular day, before we knew it one by one the entire family slipped into our small cottage with one lame excuse or another. The best one was Jasper, who told me he had to follow a feeling and this is where it brought him. Yeah, right, and if he were human, I would've asked how much and what he was smoking of the wacky weed.

Oh and let's not forget the time that Ness fed Snowy catnip after Emmett had told her that cats get high and fly after eating it. Needless to say, Ness believed him and hoped Snowy would fly. Then Snowy had gone missing after getting high on catnip. It had taken the whole vampire family, the wolf pack and the chief of police to find her. Well, actually it was the chief of police who found her. So much for supernatural abilities!

"Ness, honey, time for bed."

"….buuuut daddy, I'm not tired." She whined.

"Yes, but Snowy is, come look, she's brought your pj's out for you."

"Okay." She said romping out and grabbing her pj's from Snowy, and giving Bella and I a hug and kiss goodnight.

"You know I'm so glad that I saw right away that keeping Snowy was a good idea." I said to Bella.

"Un..huh. Funny, I remember it a bit differently with you pressed against the window quaking in fear of our little puff ball."

"That was definitely not me. I remember that being Jasper." Even Jasper has become friends with Snowy now.

"Sure, your memory seems to be a bit fuzzy, but I'm glad she's here too. And I know after your panicked call to my dad asking him to call the FBI, not to mention the tribal council informing them there was a serious problem with a cat that needed to be found when she went missing, I know you're sweet on her. I love her too." I grinned sheepishly as the council thought I was talking about a lion and not a domestic house cat which Charlie was good enough to explain to them after he stopped laughing.

"Me too, she's the best house pet ever." And she was without a doubt because Ness was always in bed early and we had plenty of sexing time since she never came into our bed again. Although, it did take a lot of explaining on the whole naked hugging thing, and why we wouldn't be having another baby. All I can say is that thank god for Esme and Carlisle, they truly were the best parents ever.

"I know, let's go to bed, I have plans for you!" Fuck, I think we're going to need bed number seven this year.

"I guess the catastrophe with the cat turned into a blessing for us. It's as if Snowy knew we needed alone time and keeps Ness occupied."

"_Won't you thank me with some catnip?" _I looked down; Snowy rubbed against my leg then walked off towards Ness's room. I swear I was hearing the cat's thoughts.

**A/N:** Thank you for reading. BTW, we did have a cat named Snowy and she did drag out my sister's pj's once, but we did have a deaf cat and it's true about the blue eyes and white cats being deaf.

**Please Vote:** My Crocodile Rock story has been nominated for the Giggle Snort Awards. I'm so excited. I would appreciate you going over and voting for me. Here's the link, just remove the spaces: www . gigglesnort . net


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